The Missing Lighthouse
" " is an episode of Game Grumps and the sixth episode of Super Mario Sunshine. Transcript Danny: Welcome back to penis bumps! Sequence squirts Peach with water Arin: *moaning* Agh... fuck... ugh. Danny: *laughing* She's just- Arin: *moaning* Want one more? Agh... Danny: Oh, come on, so immature. Arin: *moaning* Fuck. *laughing* Danny: She's just out with her like, 'I'm here at the horse-track umbrella.' Arin: Oh God, have you ever interacted with horse-track people on the train? Danny: I have not. Arin: I was going to Comic Con on the train- Danny: That's a pretty specific question. Have you ever interacted with these really random people in this really random circumstance? Arin: Um, it fucking- Danny: Don't give me your horse track on the bus story! Arin: They're just really loud and like already drunk. Danny: Oh, yeah. Arin: And they're just like *imitating horse-track woman* 'HAHAHAHA!' Danny: Yeah. Arin: 'HAVE YOU EVER SEEN LIKE, FUCKING-' and it's like, go eat dicks! Danny: Yeah, yeah! Neat. Arin: So I started talking really loudly about like, fucking dudes in the ass, with like, anal beads and shit. Danny: Are you serious? Arin: I'm just like, 'MAN! And when my dick was covered in poo! Can you believe it? It smelled like poo too!' And like, and like, it took a while for them to like, be like, 'Ew, what the hell is he talking about? ANYWAY, *incoherent rambling*' Danny: *laughing* That's awesome. Arin: Yeah. Danny: I hate stupid people. Arin: I hate em too. We should, uh, eradicate all of them. Danny: Wow. But, we should make sure that we're the judges of who is stupid. Because we could easily be considered stupid fro another person's perspective. Arin: Who's perspective? Danny: I dunno. Stupid people. Arin: *laughing* Yeah! We should kill them before they kill us! Danny: It's a race against the clock! Arin: *mumbling* Wait, it's over here. Danny: Oh, uh, to clue you in from the last time on Game Grumps, there was an old wive's tail that the ostriches could look up in the rain and drown themselves, but it is not true. Arin: Really? Danny: Unfortunately, I wanted it to be true. Also, apparently they don't bury their heads in the sand. Arin: Oh yeah, they don't. Danny: Yeah, it's- *chuckle* this is like the least helpful answer- it's like- "Ostriches don't bury their heads in the sand. They are scanning" The FUCK does that mean? Arin: *laughing* Danny: Thanks internet. Arin: So, DO they? Or, what the fuck? Danny: They don't bury their heads in the sand, they just bury their heads in the sand. For scanning purposes. Arin: *giggling* How the FUCK- Danny: It doesn't make any fucking- Arin: *watching a blue coin disappear* AW- Danny: Damnit blue coin! Arin: Like- what- WHAT? Danny: And what are they scanning for? SAND? Arin: What action looks like putting your head in the sand? Danny: Now scanning for sand. Scan successful. Arin: Sand is present. Brrrrrrep! And the ostriches are like 'Thank God! Thank God you did that for us.' Danny: *content grunt* Arin: Where did the new goop show up? Danny: I dunno. Arin: There's a new goop train that showed up. Danny: What's a D.E.B.S. Alert? I meant to ask that much earlier. Arin: *reading the alert* According to new information, the lighthouse- Danny: Uh-huh. Arin: ...on the eastern- Danny: Go on. Arin: ...coast- Danny: Okay. Arin: h- has disappeared! Danny: WHAT? Arin: Investigations are now underway. Danny: Great! Arin: Where's the lighthouse? Oh, I guess it's disappeared. *both laugh* Danny: Why didn't they fucking say where it is? What kind of non-helpful alert is this? Arin: I guess they're investigating. But they're totally not, they're just waiting for me. Danny: *reading the alert* "The investigation is underway." WHEN IS IT STARTING? Arin: I DON'T SEE EM! I don't see em! I'm looking out my window and I don't see policemen! There it is, there's the goop. Danny: Oh my gosh, alright, cool. Arin: I think that's where the lighthouse w- were. Danny: That's where it was be. Arin: What is- what is that? Danny: What's in there? Arin: Oh- oh! It's the rocket tip! Danny: Pardon me? Arin: It's the- it's the- it's the rocket tip. Oh, I guess I have to kill this center piece right here. *farting noises* Danny: Oh yeah. Uh, *imitating monster* w- who has awoken my crappy slumber? Arin: *imitating monster* Have you met my brothers? BILL, TED, FRANK, BILL, AND GEORGE. I know there's two Bills, it's confusing. Danny: *imitating monster* Oh, you murdered them? Cool. That's fine too. Arin: What if he's, like, really grateful? He's just like, 'you've woken me.' Danny: Thank yo- BLAGH! No, I'm just trying to say than- BLAGH! Arin: Alright, I need to get him in the fucking mouth! It took me, like, three of these guys to figure that out. Danny: Oh, yeah. Arin: I'm, like, shooting him and I'm like 'What's not- why isn't it working?' Danny: 'No progress was made this day.' Wow, you're running low on water. Arin: Yeah, I need to recoup my water. Danny: *sarcastically* Where will you find any? And where is that confounded lighthouse? Arin: *reading FLUDD alert* If you hold down the- yeah, I know that, fucking stupid FLUDD. F - L - U - D. Stands for FLUDD. Danny: This game would be really funny if, like, refilling your water jug took like, half an hour. Arin: It's like 'Ah, shit.' Danny: *annoyed groaning* Like, immediately, all Metacritic scores go from 9.5 to 1.2. Fuck. This. Arin: It just takes as long as it takes a fucking iPad to get to like 20%. Jesus, why do they take so long to charge? Danny: I don't know. Arin: iPhones don't take that long. Danny: I know! Arin: Fucking iPads are just like- Danny: And iPads are just like stretched out iPhones! In fact, they do less! They're not a phone! Arin: Oh, that's true. Danny: Weird. Arin: I guess they do, like, more per square inch. Danny: You are right. Arin: Oh, I guess iPhones do more per square inch! Danny: Can I just say that it's int- oh, okay. Arin: That's it? Seriously? Danny: I was just going to say, like, apparently "Thanks, Mario" translates into mushroom as "Mamamamamamama." Arin: And, *loud squawking* 'Cause that's all they fucking say when you talk to em. Danny: Is that right? Arin: Yeah. Cause they- for some reason, like, you never hear a toad talk. Danny: Right. Arin: You just hear *loud squawking* and then he says a bunch of words. So- Danny: Yeah! That's true, actually. Arin: Is that his voice? Danny: They sound like, um, the Family Guy episode where Peter Griffin tries to do the entire alphabet in one second, and it's like, ah! Arin: Oh yeah, um, it's funny, cause I think that's like the only thing from like the cartoon show- Danny: Uh-huh. Arin: From the American cartoon show that carried over, cause like I think his voice was like *imitating toad* 'HEY MARIO! WHAT'S GOING ON?' Danny: I think you're right. Arin: So maybe they were like 'Huh, that sounds pretty good, actually.' *viewing bonus level* Oh, shit. Danny: What is this? Arin: We're on our very first pre-galaxy not FLUDD platforming challenge. Danny: Aw, is this what people were saying you're gonna fucking hate it when you fall off this? Arin: Yeah... Danny: Cool. Arin: But this is- Danny: Now I get it. Arin: This isn't one of them. *Mario nearly falls of of platform* AH- dah- okay. Danny: No, wait, you're alright, okay. Cool. Arin: Whooo. Danny: This isn't one of those ones you fall- OH GOD I'M FALLING! Arin: They just want you to get aggravated. Danny: This reminds me of that fucking impossible stage on Super Monkey Ball that we play in round one. Arin: Ooh, yeah. Danny: The bonus round that you CAN'T win. Arin: And it's just like 'DID YOU GET IT?' No. Danny: Awh. *laughing* Just a monkey sailing into the abyss. Arin: And then you get like 5 tickets as opposed to 7000. Danny: Yeah. *laughing* You guys gotta go to round one in the puente hills mall. Arin: Yo. Round one is fucking rowland heights, baby. Danny: That place is fucking awesome. Arin: It's where they filmed Back to the Future. Danny: In round one? Arin: No, at the puente hills mall. Danny: Get out- no way! Arin: That's the twin peaks mall, yeah. Danny: No WAY! Arin: Or twin pines. Danny: Oh, that makes me love it twice as much! Arin: Yeah, we always drive by it when, um, like, right in front of the Outback- Danny: Uh-huh. Arin: And the Buffalo Wild Wings. Danny: Right. Arin: That's where it was shot. Danny: Oh, that's awesome. Arin: Where, incidentally, Doc was shot. Danny: Oh yeah- yeah, by the Libyans. Arin: Was it Libyans? Danny: Yes. Arin: I thought it was Ugandans or something. Danny: No, that's racist. Arin: *laughing* Danny: Hey! *imitation italian accent* GELATO BEACH! Arin: *imitation italian accent* Come on down to my beach! It's full a gelato! It's sticky and gross but *incoherent mumbling* Danny: *imitation italian accent* It's terrible in the sunshine! Arin: *reading the level title* Dune Bud Sand Castle Secret. Danny: Cool. Arin: Okay. Danny: Alright. I can get down with that. Yeah. Uh, aw. Arin: I know. Danny: Everything is more charming than the last. Between, um, between Super Mario Sunshine, watching my friend play this, and watching him play Wind Waker, for Zelda, which was the same time, I had a really lovely 2002. Arin: Yeah, yeah, definitely. Danny: I was a young man in his prime. Arin: Gamecube was so... magical. Danny: Gamecube was a very lovable system, and I think, uh- Arin: I feel like it was the last vestige of like, Nintendo's creativity. Before they started, like, being like, 'Alright, so Mario is Goombas and turtleshells, Zelda is Triforce and octoroks.' Danny: Yeah, they kinda switched, like, they funneled their creativity more into the gameplay as opposed to like, what you're seeing and what you're interacting with. Arin: Yeah. Danny: Um, I dunno, maybe, I mean, *Mario gets tossed into the air by an enemy* AH! Arin: Oh, Jesus! Like, these guys are new! Danny: Yeah. Like, they've never- nothing remotely like them has ever been in any Mario game. Arin: *incoherent mumbling* He's so proud of himself. *Mario gets flipped into the air again* OH JESUS! Danny: Oh, Lordy! Just, like, walking away. Arin: It doesn't hurt. It's just kinda fun. *The enemy falls asleep.* Now he's tuckered out! Danny: Yeah. Arin: *yawn* Oh, man. Throwing around fat plumbers is fucking hard work. Danny: Have you ever tossed an Italian? You are ready for a nap. Arin: *laughing* He just sits down next to this couple and they're like 'Did that fucking guy just sit right next to us?' *both laugh* Arin: And- *imitation female voice* 'Maybe we should move.' Danny: 'No. Shut up. We came here to have a nice time. Arin: *laughing* 'I'm not letting some god damned fucking duck bill' He's like, he's like, 'Did you just call me a fucking duck bill?' Danny: Yea- *laughing* *imitation Mario voice* 'Imma toss you!' Arin: What of it? Danny: What about it? Arin: Did you see the jumbo juice? Danny: Awh, nice. Arin: Oh. He went out thAere- *reading the NPC's speech* "Blast it all. The owner must be out walking with-" *incoherent mumbling* Danny: Okay. Arin: Who cares? Go die. Danny: Enjoy your alcohol- *Mario takes damage from falling into the juicer* Arin: Oh, JESUS! Danny: NO! Arin: I almost got JUICED! Danny: It's a juicer! What a terrible place for a juicer! Arin: I think I need to put some juice in it. Danny: That would be my guess, Arin. *both laugh* Arin: Nonononono- Danny: Next time on Game Grumps, more intense puzzle solving. Arin: *laughing* What am I gonna do with this plant? Water it? Danny: OH MY GO- Category:Episodes Category:Super Mario Sunshine Episodes Category:Danny and Arin Episodes